Imagine placing two flat screen plasma TV's side by side in your living room smack dab in front of your couch. You've got beer, snacks a-plenty and fresh batteries in your clicker.
One TV has an NFL game on and the other has a Major League Baseball game and they both start at the same time.
Besides this being many sports fans' idea of hog heaven and even better than clicking back and forth between games with only one TV, it's fun to watch the differences between these two pro sports. Watching the NFL on TV is a weekly ritual; baseball is on every night of the week, but watching the two combined is almost as rewarding as joining a Cowboy cheerleader snuggle-fest.
And that's exactly what I did recently (not the snuggle-fest, but the two TV's thing). Here's what happened:
The football game started with a massive kick to the opposing team, and a line of 250-pound plus men with murder in their eyes started charging after the poor slob who caught the ball. After a few seconds he was crushed by his pursuers, becoming the bottom man in a very scary adult male pig-pile. MLB players tend to be a little mellower and less physical, but all pro players in any sport need to be strong. Football players take steroids, baseball players get caught.
Meanwhile, the MLB game started off a little less exciting. My heart rate and pulse began to slow down as I watched the catcher and pitcher play catch as the batter just stood there spitting and adjusting his crotch. I got quickly bored and turned back to the NFL game.
In a matter of a three minute span two men had been injured adidas superstar foundation black
, with one having his ankle relocated to his armpit. A touchdown was scored, the ball changed hands twice, and a whole lot of tackling, smashing, crunching and finger-breaking happened.
Football is more of an immediate gratification, ADD-friendly game to watch.
I glanced back at the MLB game for a couple of minutes. Two strikeouts and four fly outs came and went and we were already in the second inning, with little action to show for it. A baseball game is more of a wise-old-man kind of sport, where patience and number-crunching are paramount. It reveres serenity.
Football reveres mayhem. Watching football gets me angry and all charged up. Watching baseball makes me sleepy. In fact, I usually like to watch the first two or three innings, fall asleep, and then wake up to catch the last few innings. Watching football players hit each other full force and light each other up is exciting, and dozing is out of the question. Watching one grown man with ball in glove chase another grown man to tag him in a pickle is kind of funny.
As 10,000 commercials played on the football TV, I had a few minutes to catch up on my MLB game. Finally adidas ultra boost uk
, in the bottom of the third, a man hit the ball and dropped it in the right field gap for a single. All the baseball players, including the guy running up to first base, seemed quite pleasant. Why not be? They were playing in a nice park, on a nice warm and sunny day and no one had even broken a sweat yet. The batter reached first base and started chatting with the opposing team's first baseman. They started smiling and having a great time with each other. My lip-reading skills are not what they used to be but I think I saw one say to the other, "Hi Johnny! How's the wife doing? It's been a while since we saw her. We've got to get together sometime soon."
Growing restless, I turned back to the NFL game just in time to see one man standing over a writhing and groaning man on the turf. I think I saw his lips yelling, "Hey Bruno, while we were having breakfast together this morning, your wife told me to tackle you into next Tuesday, did I do a good job?"
In the very next play a running back was nailed in a bone-splitting tackle. Indeed, his bone did split, and then protruded right out of his bloody skin causing a wave of nausea to spread over the crowd.
Fascinated but horrified, I quickly turned to the baseball game and witnessed a wild pitch hit the batter on the finger. The batter yelped and had to sit the rest of the game out adidas superstar uk sale
, his pinky was smarting.
To replace the bone-sticking-out-of-his-leg guy in the NFL game, a bulky player with flowing dreadlocks sticking out of his helmet started lumbering onto the field. He had a huge cast on his arm that looked like a big club. With the hand totally encased, forming a big bulbous weapon, he shook it as his opponents in defiance while possibly struggling to stick one particular finger up, and then reluctantly joined the huddle.
It was nearing the halftime and so many timeouts had been called that they seemed to have run out of commercials to play. So the cameras started scanning the crowd. It was a lot colder where this game was being held, and I could see people's breath. I also saw a guy in shorts and no shirt who had painted his skin from head to toe in his NFL team's colors. His head was shaved and also painted, and he was wearing a big pig's nose on his face.
As I briefly scanned the crowd on the other TV, I saw lots of people in button down, short sleeve shirts, baseball caps and gloves on, waiting expectantly for that ever-elusive foul ball.